His Rui

Chapter 681 Xi Ying Is Scared Of Losing Li Rui

　　Xi Ying didn\'t know how he should look into his Li Rui\'s eyes. 

　　"But why would she try to poison Mother?"

　　Xi Ying didn\'t know what should he tell her!

　　It was because of him that Qin Wenya suddenly made her mother her target. He was very sure of that. Neither had he told her about Zhao Wang Lei\'s plan regarding Yi Jie nor she had tried to poison the latter. However, at that time, he thought that having Qin Wenya against Zhao Wang Lei was more important than anything. Also, since Zhao Zhuang Chen had told everything to Qin Wenya he had to make her believe that Zhao Wang Lei was indeed against them so that she would not go and tell Zhao Wang Lei all this. 

　　And …he had also threatened her not to do anything rubbish!

　　But she still did this. 

　　Xi Ying was suddenly doubting himself. 

　　Was he really capable of doing all this? …Going against the Emperor himself?

　　He wondered if he should have abandoned all this and then take away his wife and son with her …somewhere where she would be extremely safe from Zhao Wang Lei\'s clutches. 

　　The thought had come to his mind many times. 

　　However, he suppressed it. 

　　The fire of revenge that was burning inside his chest didn\'t let that thought emerge too much. After knowing what Zhao Wang Lei did to him, Li Rui, and Xi Ling in his past life, he didn\'t wish to run away. 

　　He just couldn\'t. 

　　How could he let this man stay alive and live peacefully when he destroyed so many lives including his in his past life! 

　　However, in the past few days, his own decisions that would have perhaps cost him a lot if circumstances had been against him, made him doubt himself.

　　"Rui…Forgive me."

　　Li Rui who was trying to find out why would Qin Wenya poison her mother was startled and confused when she heard Xi Ying\'s words. 

　　She tried to lean away to look at his face as she asked 

　　"Ying, why are you apologizing?"

　　However, Xi Ying didn\'t look her in the eyes but he answered her question. 

　　"I should have been careful."

　　Li Rui felt helpless as well as her heart melted at her words. She unconsciously caressed the back of his head softly.

　　In response, Xi Ying only buried his head deeper in her neck if he could do so.

　　"Ying, it is not your fault. You didn\'t know that Her Majesty was going to do this. I know if you had known, then you would have never let this happen."

　　"No, Rui…"

　　This time, Xi Ying leaned back to look at Li Rui\'s face. 

　　Li Rui was startled when she looked into his eyes. 

　　At this moment, he looked completely different from his usual self. There was no arrogance, pride, or confidence. 

　　He looked defeated, guilty, scared, and regretful. 

　　It confused her more as to why this incident was affecting him a lot. After all, she didn\'t know anything about the turmoil going inside Xi Ying\'s mind and heart.   

　　Xi Ying suddenly held Li Rui\'s tightly… quite tightly though it didn\'t cause any pain. 

　　He looked at her silently for a few moments before he spoke in almost a pleading voice.

　　"Rui, let\'s go away from here. Shall we? You, me, and Xi Ling…we will go away somewhere where no one will ever be able to attack you anymore."

　　He spoke as he leaned closer to kiss her lips gently. So gently …as if he was trying to please her and make her accept his proposal.         

　　However, Li Rui was completely still in his arms. 

　　Her eyes were blank as she felt him kissing her lips gently. This time, her heart no longer quickened when he kissed her.

　　When he stopped, Li Rui looked at him with an emotionless face. Xi Ying still didn\'t look in her eyes. His fingers caressed her cheeks gently but he no longer could do so when he heard her whisper

　　"You want to run away…"

　　This time it was Xi Ying\'s turn to freeze. 

　　The words were like a slap to his face but they were true. 

　　Indeed, was he not trying to run away?

　　His fingers on her cheek stilled and he no longer move and said anything. 

　　Li Rui smiled softly. Her eyes didn\'t have any resentment. They were soft and gentle. Even her voice was very gentle and soft when she said 

　　"But I can\'t run away, Ying. I have my Clan here. My whole clan…"

　　Xi Ying swallowed suddenly realizing his mistake. When he finally gathered his courage to look into her eyes, he felt as if someone was clutching his heart inside his chest and twisting it around again and again making it very painful. 

　　"Rui…"

　　He whispered as he felt guilt and regret filling up his heart. 

　　Indeed, she had her own clan here…Li Clan…the clan he had promised her he would protect. 

　　And now the same him was asking her to run away with him …forgetting everything about the same clan.   

　　Xi Ying swallowed again feeling his throat going dry. 

　　Looking into her soft and gentle eyes, he accepted finally.

　　"Rui…I am scared. Very scared."

　　Xi Ying had never imagined that he would say these words to someone one day. In fact, he had never thought that he would even feel scared of something but today here he was. 

　　At this point in his life, he had felt so many things that he had thought he would never feel. 

　　On the other hand, Surprise flickered in Li Rui\'s eyes after she heard Xi Ying\'s words. 

　　"What are you scared of?"

　　She asked curiously. 

　　Xi Ying\'s hands held her firmly against him. His deep eyes looked into hers and he told her about his fears or someone for the first time.

　　He wondered if she would understand him. But putting aside all his hesitations, he spoke honestly. 

　　"Of losing you. I am scared that I will lose you in this fight, Rui."